How to Know When You’re Overthinking A Decision

You won’t be surprised to learn that for most of my clients, I’m a last resort. I’m the person they call when the deadline is upon them, when the new company needs to know if they’re taking the job, when the lease is almost up, when the relationship is on its last legs.

(One notable exception: my return clients! They learn to call me before this point.)

Most of these people have overthought their decision. They have spent unnecessary days, weeks, months, or (yes, it’s true) years thinking about this decision. And it’s a problem!

We get bogged down in a decision and are unable to move forward, backward, any direction, stuck in one place, slowly gathering moss, and eventually turning to stone....or something close to that, anyway.

If you’re wondering if you’re overthinking that decision, here are three ways to tell:

1) You keep researching and researching.

“Lemme just read one more article!”—even though the answer to your decision cannot be found through Google.

1B) No new info is coming in.

All that research isn’t producing any information you haven’t found before. There’s nothing new you can learn about this. You have all the info you’ll ever have.

2) Tiny/irrelevant items somehow appear on your pros and cons list.

If you’re deciding between cities to live in, a $1000 difference in the average rent is an important factor to consider. A 2-degree difference in summer temperatures is not.

3) Your friends/family/dog are sick of hearing you talk about it.

When even your most loyal and loving people are like, “make a decision already!!” you’ve hit the point of overthinking.

3B) Has anyone you’ve talked to about this asked you a new, thought-provoking question recently?

If not, then there’s no more benefit in continuing to talk to family and friends about this decision.

If you want to stop overthinking, I have two tips:

1) Set a decision deadline.

Before you even start considering a decision (a move to a new city, switching careers, starting a side hustle), decide how long you’ll give yourself to make that choice. Then put that date on a calendar, find some ways to hold yourself accountable (accountability buddy, promising someone you’ll have it done by then, creating a reward—whatever works for you!), and stick to it. The deadline is the deadline.

2) Pick five important factors relevant to that decision, and see how they stack up in regard to each option.

Five. No more. This will force you to make your decision based on what actually matters. Put down the pen! Back away from the list. Take a deep breath.

Overthinking is incredibly common, and if you do overthink you are definitely not alone! But the opportunity cost of overthinking can be ENORMOUS. It’s a huge waste of time, energy, and brainspace. If you make the decision, you can start taking action right away. (You can always pivot if you need to! I will shout this from the rooftops with my last breath!). But if you continue to overthink, that’s just time wasted.

There is no perfect decision.

If there were a perfect solution, you’d have found it by now. Once you accept this, the decision becomes easier. I promise!