Is it fear or is it intuition?
I’ve been considering this question for a while, because I get asked it all the time and I’ve been stuck for a good answer. Finally, I made myself sit down and really think about it. The way this usually comes up is with someone calling me about a big decision. Maybe it’s a move to a new city, or they’ve been asked to take on a challenging new promotion at work. They know what they “should” do, but something is holding them back. Is it my intuition, they ask? Has it identified that this is a bad idea?
And if so, should I listen to it?
Now, there’s not one simple answer to this. Gut instinct, intuition, whatever you want to call it—this isn’t a perfectly defined thing. But we want to know: how do you differentiate a useful gut feeling that a choice isn’t right for you from the normal feelings of stress and/or anxiety that come with doing something new? When is your intuition guiding you to the right path, and when are you just feeling fear or worry or a reluctance to change?
It comes down to: what, exactly, is my gut trying to alert me to?
I’ve come up with four questions you can ask yourself when you find yourself in this situation. I hope they help!
When you’re wondering is this sense of anxiety (or fear) telling me something important? ask yourself: does my anxiety or fear usually give me good information? Has it, historically, steered me away from truly bad decisions? Or has it just been a temporary state that, when I push past it, becomes irrelevant?
Is this sense you’re getting from your gut protecting you from real danger, or from a brief feeling of embarrassment or discomfort??? Answer honestly!
Is this bad feeling a reflection of something you’re often scared of? If you’re always nervous before you try something new, but then you end up enjoying it, that’s not intuition in a useful way. It just means your brain wants you to avoid an uncomfortable feeling. Push past it!
If the feeling you get when making a big choice is one of discomfort, it’s worth asking: if I examine my values and think about the future that I want to have, is this big change is in line with those values? And is it helping me move towards that future? If so, this feeling is likely not useful, and you can safely ignore it.
TL;DR: Don’t avoid doing something that could elevate your life by giving into temporary discomfort.